beingness and nonbeingness in creatity
We are all unconsciously trying to self destruct. Just by being alive we are dying. This is a hard truth to grapple with in our day to day, It was definately hard for me as I dealt with alcohol addiction from a young age.
By the age of 15, a normal age to start drinking in Colombia, I was drinking most weekends for social occasions, firstly moderately and with care and later with less moderation and care. Alcohol is like many other addictions a sort of self destructive behaviour. It is particular in that it numbs our sensitivity and depresses us. Drinking is an act of silencing emotions. It is a way to loose control within a framework of control, only on weekends once I have done my work…
As a creative I did not know then that what I was doing was limiting my possibility to process emotions. I was numbing myself to the sensitive capacities I was born with. I did not possess then the psycho-technologies to be able to cope with issues of abandonment and loneliness.
All of us carry some sort of addictive behaviour be it our use of social media in search of approval and gratification, be it excessive eating the sense of deeper connection with being alive. Or be it a drug to numb the pain of being constantly obsessed with things being perfect or by trying to fit in. I see addiction as the highest value of a consumer society that sees people as consumers, addicts just go that extra mile.
I believe it’s normal that as living creatures we are constantly in the fear of dying and external seeking through behaviour is an unconscious response to this.
The key then becomes to do this dying consciously to go from being to non being in a conscious way. This can be done with several methods for example meditation or drawing or writing. We can do this in a temazcal or with Ayahuasca. The key is to change the state of mind from that of fear and anxiety to that of presence and realization. This is a way to get into flow state. The state where time seizes to exist altogether where the universe comes in as we are an expanded vessel. Or as the Tao Te Qing shows us.
“We join spokes together in a wheel, but it is the center hole that makes the wagon move. We shape clay into a pot, but it is the emptiness inside that holds whatever we want. We hammer wood for a house, but it is the inner space that makes it livable. We work with being, but non-being is what we use”
- Lao Zi
When we see death as inevitable and delve deeply into the mystery and we use non-being to let the whole universe within us we become a channel for creativity, for connection and ideas to emerge. There is always distortions in the reflection of the information that comes through just as a reflection on water is not HD perfect. I have spoken before about language as a scaffolding for understanding but it not being truth. It is in these distortions that we find the imperfections that make great art so wonderful, so connected with the deeper mysteries of life. It is when we realize that we can add beauty to the world and build new patterns and tapestries that add and hold the web of life.
Going into non-beingness is by its very fact a selfless act of creation you are stepping literally into the unknown of what will happen. With one foot in the certainty of beingness but with another deeply cherishing the emptiness, the place of imagination. Being present there and holding with your senses the tastes, the sights, the sounds, the feelings, the images that arise from somewhere beyond where you were a moment ago. Playing with these energies and remembering where they come from, subtly thanking the universe for their existence and remembering not to let you ego kill them by uttering the words that divide and compartmentalise. It’s a subtle dance to take photographs and offer them as gifts to the world and at the same time being present to delve into the path of becoming. It’s a subtle path, for it is yours alone, but by giving it to the world you are letting go. You are dying and you are being born again.
